THE LINCOLN PROJECT GOP DEBATE BINGO CARD
BINGO! Grab Your Popcorn And Play Along for Tonight’s GOP Debate
I feel like this BINGO card is missing some squares. Go ahead and get out your Sharpie and make your own card. Invite friends and family, or create a watch party. For the free space, maybe put “comic fuckup moment.” We may not get as lucky as the fly who parked on former VP Mike Pence’s head, but we can hope for something just as funny.
Put your own GOP talking points for another card in the comments. You need 16 squares, so help me out here. My suggestions:
THE RADICAL LEFT
I AM A TRUE PATRIOT
BLANK STARE WHEN 14TH AMENDMENT, SECTION THREE IS MENTIONED
“WELL, LOOK…” — for every question about Trump indictments, the insurrection, felonies, cases, etc. If you are a drinker, you can take shots for every answer about Trump that begins with “Well, look…” For your own safety, it is not recommended you take a shot for every “well, look” tonight or you might induce liver failure.
“DISTRACTION “— It is my prediction that these candidates will try to walk the tightrope by referring to Donald Trump’s criminal trials and “legal issues” as a “distraction.” In fact, that is my hope, that the message of Trump as a “distraction” will allow Trump co-dependents, er, supporters, to find an excuse not to support him any longer.
Good luck, hang in there as long as you can. As we know, these “debates” are essentially a “meet and greet” for candidates and will lack substance, but hopefully not be short on fascist stylings or truly comic fuckups. And like Master Chef, some candidates will have to turn in their aprons by the end of the show.